Lois Elaine Taft: Half a Journal and Half a Remembrance
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Authors
Kolon, Katherine S.
Issue Date
1999
Type
Thesis
Language
en_US
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Abstract
When people ask me why I am writing a biography of my grandmother, I answer
them, trying to fulfill their romantic ideas, trying to convince them that she did something
important. They want evidence of her existence. They want, like all humans, another
story to tell. What they want is Hollywood. Maybe they would like a story of a
strikingly beautiful, yet poor, woman who works her way up from the bottom, then falls
desperately in love with the man of everyone's dreams, manages to raise a marvelous
family and give something back to the community by helping other poor families. I try to
mold the truth into something like this, something that will put people in a state of awe.
"Well, she led a kind of wild life," I start. "She was married three times, one of
which was a very abusive and alcoholic relationship. She went to college and studied
music, and later, she became a teacher. She was very politically active and did a lot of
writing, fiction and non-fiction. She took a lot of people under her wing."
I stop somewhere about there, realizing that I have neither an earthshaking event
to tell nor an insightful moral about life to tell. My audience's attention falters. This is
not cutting it, this is not enough. They nod at me and say something about how
rewarding it must be to study family history ... Yeah. What else can I say? She did a lot
of things. She led a full life. She held many secrets. She lived. She died. She was a
human like you and me. She was my Granny.
And that's where her real importance begins. It's in the name: Granny, not
Grandma. To me, the word "granny" doesn't have the same meanings attached to it as
the word "grandma." I have a Grandma. She is the loving, sweet, gives-you-a-cookie
sort of grandma. That is not to say that my Granny wasn't like that, but she doesn't
radiate the same image. There is something a bit crafty about a granny. You know she
isn't entirely perfect; you know she can get into trouble.
So if you are looking for romance, adventure, fortune, and fame, I can not
guarantee that you will find it here, though I know I can find it. It doesn't matter if my
grandmother led the most mundane life of all human existence; what matters primarily, is
that I saw something in her that I want to document, and share if you so desire. "There's
a lot of history there and ... she left a lot of things behind. I think that there's a lot we
can learn from it" (Ellie 9). All I can guarantee is that you will see how her life has
affected mine, and I can only hope that something will influence you as well. "What
matters is that lives do not serve as models; only stories do that. And it is a hard thing to
make up stories to live by. We can only retell and live by the stories we have read or
heard. We live our lives through texts" (Heilbrun 37). I am creating a new to serve as a
model for myself and for other people. My grandmother has influenced many people in
her life, and I have no doubt that she can continue to do so even while her ashes lay on
this good earth.
So now when people ask me why I chose to write about my grandmother, I will
tell them what they don't expect to hear. I will tell them what will not astound them. I
will tell them the essential truth.
"Because she is a part of me, my story." And maybe just saying that will be
enough.
Description
193 p.
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