won't you celebrate with me : Reflections on My Blackness Abroad and At Home
MetadataShow full item record
I studied abroad in Budapest in the Fall semester of 2015 and left the following February with the deep certainty that I needed to come back as soon as possible. In the summer of 2016, I traveled to Budapest, Hungary, to conduct interviews and research for my SIP as a student in the Anthropology and Sociology Department. I have struggled to represent my experiences in Hungary. I have struggled to represent my experiences here, in the U.S. In writing these poems and essays, I have confronted the structures and paradigms that demand my own 'dissociation of lived experience'. And I proudly claim the label that I so willingly denied myself. This is— and I am—academic. For so long, I felt like I could not be either. My life was not organized into a cleanly dissectible series of events and understandings... I could not write about my research without also writing about myself. I could not claim objectivity because the world does not respond to me objectively. The preceding essays have been fragmented and exist sans context or explanation. Their existence is their own explanation—as is my own. I am here. In this body. This body knows histories and trauma that cannot be expressed without feeling. I cannot exist without feeling. I will not exist without feeling.