Memory and Desire: An Internship at the St. Nicholas Theater Company
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This should be a novel, but, alas, it is not. In writing this report I have often found myself still too close to events for objectivity, still churning up feelings fresh and complex which clouded the page, 'mixing / Memory and desire.' I had gone to St. Nicholas not as an observer but as a participant. Now I had to mine a certain academic ore from a mountain of material. It seemed an impossible task, and I do not know if I have succeeded. From September 1979 to April 1980 the St. Nicholas Theater Company was going through great growth and great change, the most profound yet in its brief history. The flux was daily, the field political, the questions personal, mutual, ideological. I cannot tell it all. I have tried to select items and events of interest with some consistency, to avoid bald reportage and fiction, to be honest and accurate. :But in the end I am still left with something.less than I wanted, a sketch, a cipher.
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