The Knife without a Blade That Lacks a Handle: The Intangible Experience of Depression

Abstract

My purpose in creating this SIP was not to write a piece for others, but for myself. By the time I was to begin working on it, I had had depression for one and a half years, and if I could not be rid of it, I wanted to create something positive from the experience. In this purpose, then, I have succeeded. I have been able to really look at the experience of depression and understand my reactions to it. I have also come to understand many other parts of my life. I have been very frank in my writing- deliberately writing as if this were to be seen by no one but myself- and thus address issues that I, if I were to have considered my real audience, would never have written. The structure of this SIP is unusual. In order to separate the different "voices" I use- that is, to separate the introspective pieces from the narrative pieces, and so forth- I have decided to use a variety of fonts and formatting styles. In this way, I hope to allow a transition between very different segments without breaking the work into chapters, or grouping all sections dealing with similar topics together. I do not mean for this to paper to be merely an academic exercise though. I know that I am not the only woman to have gone through such a messy college career, and I also know that there will be others in the future. Thus, this paper is offered to future women who are in need of some sort of resource beyond what they have been told by their families, their doctors, and society as a whole. I hope that you can learn from my mistakes, and that you are able to succeed, despite the obstacles you may be experiencing.